Current mood:	apathetic
Current music:	copeland - testing the strong ones

There's an angel by your hospital bed desparate to hear his name on your breath.
As he looks down you're not making a sound.
Open your eyes and look at me.
I'll bring to you whatever you need.
I'll tell you I'm sorry that I can't take this pain away from you.
I'd put it on my own body if I knew how to, can't you see?
I've got to bust you out of here somehow.
I've never seen your heart this tired I've never seen your spirit held down.
I know that you say, "this is what you get for being a bad child."
But I know this will be your reward in just a little while.
It's testing the strong ones.
It's scarring the beautiful ones.
It's holding the loved ones one last time.



So tonight i finally got out of the house, i went to see zao, remembering never,scarlet, and in these walls. Wow man in these walls are so awesome, its so awesome to see freinds doing well, and theyre doing awesome, kids were really getting into them. I didnt watch scarlet cause well im not down.Remebering never blew me away, so heavy live, there was incredible amounts of mosh, like death everywhere haha. ZAO i dont know if i can ever give a possible explanation on how much this band means to me, they played 10 songs, TEN SONGS! i couldnt beleive it, my life was just lifted.


Ok away from show stuff, i met a very beautiful girl tonight, inside and out such a wonderful girl, her name is jordanna. I love how positive and loving she was towards me and how positive she was about my faith, her friend, dont hate me if this is wrong azita was also incredible. Theres just something about jordi, shes such an amazing girl, i feel so blessed to have met her. Other people that ive met that have touched my heart are azita, eric, erica, neil, hardcore greg, marc with a c, these new friends have made life so much better. Oh and kindra didnt come tonight, bummer.</3 Other news today, me and my mom had a heart to heart. She came out of her bedroom crying so much and asked if i could talk, and i said of course. She told me that everytime i left her in her life it broke her heart and how happy and proud she is that i moved back. We were just crying so much, we were like one again, i cant explain how much i love my mother, because i dont think theres a word to explain that amount of love, shes my guardian angel and she always has been and always will be. SO the end of the night everyone said there goodbyes and such and i decided to go for a walk up queen street. I found a homeless man and asked him if he wanted to go to church with me, he said yes, so we ended up i beleive the church our lady of mercy between queen and john, i think thats right. So we just sat their and prayed and we talked about life and even love, its funny how you cant really judge someone till youre in their actual shoes, so ya raymond , hes a good man, he lost his family when he go divorced, it ruined his life,and drinking took over his life. its so sad, well i shook his hand and took the street car home. And now im home,and listening to copeland once again, it makes me cry because its so real, i know exactly how this dude feels and felt.But i feel blessed very much, but im still worried about my mom so much, life man life, its time to cherish what we all take for granted, cherish your parents, i wish i could take back every terrible thing ive ever said to anyone, i just wish i could make everything wrong, right.anyways im gonna take my dogs for a walk, day 4 no sleep, itll get better , it has to. LOVE. xo <3